●The Dom ● ~~ a Dom's essay.

   Dom                                                                                                                           RS Aug 09
                              {to me this describes the 'perfect Dom'.. and Doms like this are a rarity!}                                                                                                               

Above all else he cherishes his submissive, in the knowledge that the gift she gives him is the greatest of all. He can be demanding at times and may take full advantage of the power given to him, but knows how to share the pleasure and show the respect that comes from that precious gift.                      .

He is in control of himself first and foremost, so that he may guide his sub to new areas of arousal and pleasure. As a firm Dom, he can cause his sub to shed real tears, not from pain but wanting to please him because she is always pleased and taken care of by him.. As the consummate lover, he will then kiss the tears away, without ever stepping out of character. His goal is never to hurt but to be able to control their emotional situations.             .                        .

In times of trouble, a Dominant will leave the roles behind, to be  a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals. He is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality. He woud never ask a submissive to put him before her career, or family, just to satisfy his own pleasure. He is kind and wise.                           .                          .
                                                                                     
To win the mind of his submissive, body and soul, he knows he must first win  her trust and heart. He will show his submissive humor, kindness, and warmth.   He must also show her that his guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of her attention, that this is a man she can respect,  learn from,  and  trust his direction.                                                     .                                    

He is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, he will fight for his ladies' honor. He proves to her that he is someone she can lean on,  and depend on. He makes her feel safe.  He is old-fashioned enough to be a bit of a chauvinist, yet modern enough to respect his woman. Quick to point out the differences between them, he also knows there is no inferiority in those differences.                         .

When it comes time to teach his submissive her lessons of obedience, he is a strong and unyielding professor. Never talking down to her but always being careful  with not only what is said-- but how it is said and what effect that will have  on her. And any discipline is always followed by forgiveness and love and then we move on.     .   

He is a careful guide, with safety always his main concern. He knows how to use the "outskirts" of pain to extend the bounds of pleasure. He is a mentor who can bring her to the edges of her envelope, and gently show her the inner  courage to reach new heights. He is always open to communication and discussion, always ready to hear her wants and needs. He is patient, taking the time to learn her limits, and knowing that as her trust of him grows, so will they.                                                          .
  He never has to demand ritual behavior by her. She responds to him out the  desire, and need, of pleasing him. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. He understands the fragile nature of mind and body, and never violates the trust given to him.                                    .                       .

He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things and strong enough to grow  His tools are mind, body, spirit and soul with a little help from rope, paddle and blindfold. He understands  that each partner gains most from pleasuring the other. And both of them know that love is the only binding that truly holds.

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Do you want the training of a caring Master?                      
Remember- -the only way a Master can lead is if his sub follows willingly.     .
We both have to give to each other completely                  .  .                     
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The BAD Side. There are so many ‘wanna-be's’ in the lifestyle.’   Insecure men who  are nothing more than bullies preying on weak women. They should all be ashamed. This is never about hitting or beating or  in any way being disrespectful of a woman. This way of life is not the freakish, public humiliation, walk someone  on a leash down the street or swinging parties. If you want to strictly swing,  fine; this however, is something completely different.   .  This is a precious gift  given by both to each other and shared in private -- a wonderful shared secret..                               .         .
                                                                      ~ Mature & Secure~

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